This right here is an epic story about always having to fight losing battles and never getting a chance to win but always putting up a good fight just to say "I ain't dead yet. At least, not yet."
See there are many types of enemies here in this world and if you listen closely I'll tell you about a few that you're bound to encounter.
First, there are Mooks. They're the bottom of the barrel. You can kill them by the dozen.
Next, there are minions. They're the next step up. They're the Mooks Lieutenants.
End of every level, there's a boss. Baddest dudes in the whole damn game.
End of the game, you fight the final boss.... and that's U&Me&Me&U.

Hero, you've traveled far across the land and bested the strongest of enemies with the greatest of ease. But your last adversary is the most dangerous by far. You will not survive this encounter, I assure you.
With unknown locations and capabilities completely unknown, the only available information we have for you is this; you're in for a boss fight! Good luck! You'll need it!
Now 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 BOSS FIGHT!!

No! Don't wait for me! I said save yourself!
Run far away! From certain death!
You'll never get away.
Grab the girl and (Just GET TO THE SAVE POINT)
Give me the bomb and I'll hold them off as long as I can.
Start stepping now up out of the blast zone cuz I'm taking the boss.
Between you and me, I don't stand a chance.

"Abandon all hope ye who enter." said the village elder to me.
"Don't you know this life is a survival mode? You only got one life til defeat."
Game over man! Game over man! Game over man!

Big money! Big prizes! I LOVE IT!

Flames! and lightning bolts, they leap up from his eyes.
Invisibility. Chameleon disguise. (If you see anything, shoot it! Use your motion trackers!)
He sees everything. (That's called omniscience)
After all, it is his stage.
He will rapidly deplete, oh baby, my life gauge.
Give me a medkit or a potion or a phoenix down.

"Abandon all hope ye who enter." said the village elder to me.
"Don't you know this life is a survival mode? You only got one life til defeat."
Game over man! Game over man! Game over man!

Damn! I'm ill-equipped (For this particular menace)
And no one has my back. Hey, wait. What was that?
Is it safe here? I'll look and see....
This game SUCKS! cuz I think I just got sneak attacked.

Alas! My life is low but I (You were already dying, don't you know?)
when he dealt the final blow.
Rage! I scream and shout! I said "FUCK THIS GAME!" and throw the cartridge out.

Continue?