Heard a myth of a man who's twelve foot six and weighs in at a thousand stones.
Carries a twenty-foot spear and a mega flail that disintegrates flesh and bone.
He picks up his enemies with telekinesis and hurls them crazy far.
Controls time and space and goes any place and his dick can touch the stars.
He's mother fuckin FORKBEARD!
All hail Forkbeard, Uruk-Hai Barbarian King,
He's mother fuckin FORKBEARD!
H'es the badest motherfucker you know.
FORKBEARD!
He's probably fucked your mother.
He can eat a cattle ranch and then drink a castle moat.
He chopped off the devils chin and wears his neck beard as a coat.
People call him many things; a hero, a general, a lord.
Well, he pisses fireballs and lightning bolts and he can shit an Uruk-Hai horde.
He's mother fuckin FORKBEARD!
All hail Forkbeard; Uruk-Hai Barbarian King,
He's mother fuckin FORKBEARD!
He's the badest motherfucker you know.
FORKBEARD!
And one day, he'll save us from the Zombies.
The maiden that he carries on his arm is a beautiful charming lass.
If you look twice at her behind he'll beat your sorry ass.
If combat skills could be used as currency, he'd be crazy Oprah rich.
If you see him on the battlefield he'll tell you "Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch."
He's mother fuckin FORKBEARD!
All hail Forkbeard; Uruk-Hai Barbarian King,
He's mother fuckin FORKBEARD!
He's the badest motherfucker you know.
FORKBEARD!
Let's spell it.....
credits
from Two Player Game,
released January 16, 2018
Lucky Q
Rachel Rockem
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